Santarchy - Washington DC

Santarchy 2008 will take place December 6th.
Santa will be meeting at NOON on the
outside steps of the National Museum of Natural History
10th Street & Constitution Ave. NW, 20560 -- on the Mall side (the grassy side)
closest metro stop: Smithsonian Station (Mall exit) on the Blue and Orange lines
Santa will be leaving from there at 1pm, so don't be late!!

Reminder: be nice to the Smithsonian security guards -- they have always been nice to us.
Be sure to read the rules and reminders below!!! (and print out your songbooks)

and oh yeah, since newbie santas have asked: kids are welcome for the early outdoor portion of Santarchy (but use your own best Santa-parent judgement)

questions? santa@santarchydc.com

Washington DC Santarchy SONGBOOK 2008
2mb PDF File

Washington DC Santarchy SONGBOOK 2008
8mb Word file

What is Santarchy?

Santarchy takes place in major cities all over the world involving tens of thousands of Santas. It is a non-profit, non-political, non-religious & non-sensical celebration of holiday cheer, goodwill, and fun. There is no good reason to dress up in cheap Santa suits, run around town, give gifts, sing songs, have strangers sit on our laps, and decide who is naughty or nice -- but it's a lot of fun -- so Santa does it anyway. Everyone loves Santa and Santa loves everyone!

Santa's Rules:

  1. Be Jolly.

  2. Holiday apparel is mandatory. A Santa hat is not enough. Get a Santa suit. Buy a Santa suit. Make a Santa suit. Steal a Santa suit. If you don't have any money, be creative. If you don't have any creativity, slap yourself three times and ask your mom to help you. Glue cotton balls to red long johns. Make it purple. Make it pink. Make it plaid. Already have a Santa suit? Bring spare parts for the Santafication of strangers. Past examples: Santa Claws, Santa Garcia, Santa's naughty little helper, misfit toy, elf, grinch, angel, Jesus, snowman, nutcracker, reindeer. Shit -- last year we had a chicken, a panda, a bunny, and a gay french monkey, so we're pretty flexible here. (list of resources on this page)

  3. Twisting the holiday paradigm until it screams for mercy is fun! Getting arrested is not. Santa Claus is friendly, respectful, and cooperative with cops, security guards, park rangers, secret service agents, and store owners and doesn't break any laws!!! "Disorderly Conduct" is not a city in China. Have your own special twisted fun, but DON'T FUCK IT UP FOR THE REST OF US. Our santas do not destroy property, steal merchandise, or do harm to others. The authorities and local businesses usually take Santa's antics in the loving holiday spirit Santa intends, so be nice to them.
    (except Union Station rent-a-cops -- they suck).

Santa's Reminders:

  1. The "schedule" is open to liberal interpretation by Santa at all times. Unlike many cities, DC has no pre-planned list of stops (it's Santarchy, not santa-barcrawl). There is no Santa in charge to call. If you can't show up for the start, get the cell number of someone who can help you catch up later.

  2. Santa does not make children cry. Really - If you see kids, give them nice toys, candy, or something pleasant. (Feel free to abuse their parents.)

  3. Santa dresses for all occasions. It's December. Smart Santas wear layers. Dress to maximize merriment whether singing christmas carols in the snow, or swinging from a stripper pole.

  4. Santa doesn't whine! We will be outside much of the early day and covering a lot of ground on foot -- bring enough "snacks" to keep your pie-hole filled until we get indoors.

  5. Bring gifts -- NAUGHTY gifts to give grown ups; NICE stuff to give kids. Throwing coal at the white house is discouraged (see RULE #3 above).

  6. Watching Santa get drunk and obnoxious is fun. Babysitting Santa while they vomit in an alley is not. Don't be that Santa.

  7. Pay your own god damn bar tab. Tip the bartenders generously for putting up with us.

  8. Memorize these answers to important questions that may arise:

    Who's in charge? "Santa"

    What organization are you with? "Santa"

    What are you protesting? "Shitty holiday parties"
    (note: WE ARE NOT PROTESTERS!! We'd need a permit for that - and something serious to complain about...)

    How did you get here? "A sleigh and eight tiny reindeer"

    Where are you going next? "I'm only allowed to tell you if you wear this hat and buy me a beer."

    Any other question: "HO!" (best coupled with a slight pause and a stupid look on your face).




Santa Resources:

Online:
 fun-shop.com (the $19.95 santa suit!)
santasuits.com (the $27.95 santa suit)
planetsanta.com ($30 santa suits)
3wishes.com - "holy fucking shit" sexy female costumes (and good wigs too)
costumesforsanta.com - nice hats and accessories
costumezone.com
nightmarefactory.com
santasuitsandmore.com
smalltoys.com (hats wholesale: $12 for 20!!)
Ebay - for classics and parts

DC Local:
Backstage Inc.
Gene’s Costumes
Party City
Masters Costumes
Michaels, The Arts & Crafts Store
A C Moore
Utrecht Art Store
Dollar store (candy canes, bells, crap)
Target/Wal-mart ($49 suits at wal-mart)
CVS usually has cheap hats.

 

Those "Other" DC Santas

www.santarchy.com
(the "official" site)

www.santacon.com
(the other kinda official site)

Santarchy on Wikipedia


 

 

questions? santa@santarchydc.com